I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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