he thought i was a dude.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
