So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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