I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
