jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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