just tell him i said nine months
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
