you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize