also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
