apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
