just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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