Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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