Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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