so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my shit smells like andre
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Did I show you my penis last night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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