using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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