Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
one two three fourrrrnication!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
