I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
