Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
