I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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