My hand turned me down
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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