Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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