peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
