Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
