I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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