Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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