A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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