Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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