I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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