are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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