they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
