living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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