so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
