So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.