i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize