i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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