it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
