whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize