I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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