Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
