so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
