ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
