Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
