you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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