Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
