Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
