it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
