I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
