In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
