hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize