We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wanna go halves on a baby?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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