Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
