rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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