Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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