oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
soo... how was my night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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