I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize