addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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