Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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