i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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