so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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