you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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