I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
