This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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