Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
