Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
