it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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