i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
