So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
