Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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