Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
