Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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