We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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