evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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