PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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